I can’t be all things to all people. I’m always letting someone down. I know that. On some level, I know that trying to be what everyone else wants/needs is a pursuit that will never end well. I also know that I probably place more of those pressures on myself than anyone else.
But don’t we all have days where, in our own heads, we just don’t measure up?
The days I run non stop after the kids so that by the time I get to sit down with my husband in the evening I don’t have anything left to give him. I’ve let him down. The fact that I’m not the uncomplicated daughter/sister my family would like, the woman who will accept anything they say or do. To them, I’m a Jesus freak. I let them down all the time because I’m ‘different’. The days my body lets me down and then I barely function outside of the bathroom or lying on my bed. Those days I let everyone down.
I’m learning something though.
Even though I might fail to my own standards, or even to someone else’s standards, I am enough.
I am always enough in the eyes of God. He doesn’t see the brokenness, exhaustion, frustration. He sees my heart. He made that heart. And He knows I’m trying. Whatever is put in front of me every single day, I am trying to be the best me.
Trying to measure up to the standards of society, or myself, or even my family, is just unrealistic. Those standards aren’t fair because they’re based on someone I’m not. And those standards are always going to change.
The standards of my Creator are unwavering. No matter what, I am always accepted, always enough, always loved.
The more I can accept that He sees me as enough, I realise that so can some of the other people in my life. There are some people who will always want me to be something I’m not. But isn’t it so much better to focus on what’s right in our lives, not what’s wrong?!
My husband realises that I’m dog tired because I’ve been investing in our family all day. And he loves me for it. I am always enough for my daughter who looks forward to our special bedtime rituals more than anything – no matter what sort of day we’ve had. The meal I put on the table for my family is always praised and scoffed down whether it’s an elaborate new creation or just plain old nachos. To them, I am enough.
It’s a change of heart. A new way of thinking.
But I am enough. And so are you.
Read my follow up post: Prowess – I am/You are Enough