Hello hello hello my lovely blog world. Happy New Year!!! I have been so super busy since school finished for the summer on 12 December but I have constantly missed the world of blog. I've been away from home (still am) and traveling without a laptop which has forced some serious down time. What can… Continue reading It’s been so long it’s a new year!
It came as a bit of a shock to me the other day. I realised I was okay. I am actually okay. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I have clarity, peace and calm - my thoughts and feelings aren't overshadowed by one specific emotion or event. I'm living and… Continue reading Feeling strong
Last weekend I said goodbye to my Gran. I am surprised how hard her passing has hit me. She was 93 years old and had struggled with her health for a little while now. It was a relief in the end, and for the last week it was inevitable - there was no surprise here but when I… Continue reading Goodbye to my Gran
I don't even know if 'Blogdom' is a word. I'm not going to check the dictionary. I don't care, I like it, so it stays! I haven't been in the land of blog for nearly three weeks now and I have so missed reading, writing and interacting - I think I actually went through withdrawal!… Continue reading Oh how I missed my Blogdom
Today Wordpress told me I have now published 100 posts. I have 154 people following me. That's not bad in four months - little numbers for most of you I know but for me, I'm happy. I didn't do this to get followers but I have to admit, I love it when I know someone new has read… Continue reading Where abbiesbabble is at
This morning my dad called to tell me that our friends had turned their daughter's life support off. Iola passed away peacefully in the arms of her mum and dad at the age of 20-months. My heart is hurting so badly for her parents now.There was no warning. She stopped breathing in bed on Monday night… Continue reading IT’S. JUST. NOT. FAIR.
Grief is not a linear journey. It's a complete hurly-burly hodgepodge of experiences that one absolutely can not predict. Just when you think you've managed to deal with, and shelve a few things, you're thrown bodily back into the storm of fully charged emotion. Sometimes for no clear reason, then again sometimes you can see the… Continue reading GRIEF IS NOT A LINEAR JOURNEY
Daily prompt: 190 Days Later If I could have looked forward to this day on January 21 and predicted how life would be, would I have been right? I'm going to go with 'no'. I'm guessing that now my life is going better than I would have thought possible back in January. Let's recap. Eight days before… Continue reading ROLLER COASTER!
The other night while Nat was having one of her meltdowns (for lack of a better word) I REALLY felt the need to reassure her of my love. I KNOW she knows how much I love her, I'm pretty sure I say and show it daily in different ways. But sometimes I feel like she's… Continue reading FOR MY CHILDREN
Today I found out that my cousin is engaged - in the same instant I was thinking how awesome that is for her, I thought, I must give my mum and call and make sure she's up to date with the good news. And then I remembered I can't. And I don't have anyone to… Continue reading MISSING BIG IN THE LITTLE MOMENTS
Dear Mum The other day I came across the photos taken at your wedding anniversary party last June. It's almost impossible to believe that was only just over a year ago. So half of that time you were here, even though in some ways it feels like that was a decade ago. And half of… Continue reading DEAR MUM. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT HAS BEEN SIX MONTHS?!
Last night we had another gut wrenching evening with Nat. It came from nowhere, they always do, these intense waves of emotion that rise from nothing and in a moment consume her so completely. As a mama, I feel like my heart literally cracks each time I see her like that - my baby in… Continue reading WATCHING HER HEALING HURT
I just found this picture - it's me delivering my speech at our wedding in 2012. What really struck me was my mum's expression. Such an amazing mama, this image has perfectly captured the love, joy and pride all over her face. I think this is one picture I will treasure forever now. We never knew… Continue reading A CAPTURED MOMENT
So leading up to Mothers Day I was a bit of a mess (here's the background). Turns out the day wasn't the dreadful disaster I was expecting, in fact, it was a great day. Don't you love it when something quite beautiful hits you completely out of the blue?! Taking on the 10km walk to… Continue reading POST MOTHERS DAY: A LESSON
As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. Ecclesiastes 11:5 Last night my daughter was angry. Hard core, I don't know what to do with myself, raging, angry. Once we… Continue reading ANSWERING WHY. OR NOT.