At Our House, Musings

Bullying still sucks

Regular readers of Abbie’s Babble might be aware of our struggles this year with bullying (my seven-year old daughter has been bullied over the last few months).

Unfortunately, things have hit an all-time low and I felt forced to remove my girl from school for the rest of the year (our school year finishes in 10 days for the summer). The last week of the year is fun, and she is missing out. Her bullies and their families carry on happy and regardless.

My heart is hurting and heavy.

I’m sad for my girl who has gone through so much she didn’t need to go through – it should have been stopped. I’m hurt that the school has obviously decided we’re wrong and chosen to stop acting – actually worse than not acting, Nat is feeling let down even by staff now. The other children have told lies, denying everything, and staff are consistently taking their side.

I have seen this other girl who is causing the most grief at the moment and she can’t even make eye contact with me any more (she used to come to my home). I don’t believe for a second that she has a clear conscience.

Nat has been told she can no longer go to her safe place the school sick bay. Sometimes she goes there at lunchtime as it’s safe, sometimes she genuinely needs time out as she does get a sore tummy from stress. I’ve been so worried about her health I’ve had her at the Dr with full blood screens taken to rule anything else out – looks like good old stress.

I don’t understand why my daughter is a target. I don’t understand why the school isn’t stepping up. I don’t know what to do from here on in. I feel physically ill today.

I just want my confident sparky happy girl back. Yes even the girl who will answer me back, ask incessant questions and push me to the extreme with her need to do things her own way. I miss that girl now.

I AM grateful for friends and family supporting us and providing advice. And I know there will be answers/lessons that will come from this.

Dog walking
This is much better than getting a hard time at school!

In the meantime, this pic shows how we spent out morning. Nat commented to me as we started walking “Oh well, at least I know I won’t get bullied today, Moe is just a dog”.

I wonder what it will take to get over this. I wonder how it will resolve.

************

Update: I wrote the above yesterday, our first day at home. Today I’m feeling a lot calmer, still sad that this has happened but I also feel more confident in doing the right thing for my family. I wrote recently how I was feeling so much stronger these days after a few years of high emotion and grief. I think this is a perfect example. I’m already bouncing into action.

I’ve made an appointment with the school principal for next week, I will go in ready and strong (pray for me to be discerning in my words please!). I will advocate for my daughter and, as I believe the school needs to change their stance on bullying, I might just need to be the change-maker. Well, to get that ball rolling anyway. For the next little boy or girl, so they don’t have to endure any time like Nat has the last few months.

I’ve also been public about this with my friends on Facebook. To start with I thought I shouldn’t, like it would be bad for the school. But I’ve always maintained, as with my blog, I live openly. I don’t have anything to hide. We haven’t actually done anything wrong here! The support from friends and family across the country has opened my eyes to the amazing network I do have around me. Sometimes on my lonely days I do forget that. I’m feeling very blessed in that respect. Good comes from bad. 

I’ll keep you posted…

AbbiesBabble

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20 thoughts on “Bullying still sucks”

  1. Don’t hide it! If it is bad for the school then only because they are not stepping up. And if that is the case maybe that will get them to do something. I guess no child is safe from bullying unfortunately. If someone picks out another one there is no clear reason why. They just need a target to feel better. Did you try to find a dialog with the parents and the girl? Seems like you know each other well enough? Maybe that would help?
    Well done in any case for stepping up and for believing your daughter and doing something!

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    1. Yes I came to the same conclusion. I started feeling like WE had done something wrong. Such a messy situation. If we choose not to stay with the school, I will open dialogue with the other family, in the meantime, I’d rather the school did their job. Here’s hoping they do! But I’d want to know if my daughter was treating someone like that so at the end of the day, I will ensure they are advised.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep. I get that there is bullying everywhere (why, I do NOT understand). But the main issue here is that the school is not dealing with it at well. We will keep fighting. Thanks for your support.

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      1. Are other kids parents complaining. You may need parent group to
        Document and make school take you seriously. Like kelt your daughter is not only victim.

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  2. Keep up the good work. Don’t be afraid to seek legal counsel. Jesus is a perfect man with a mother’s heart. Laying down our lives for our children who are our dearest friends should be commonplace. We did it for our daughter and she is the closest thing to perfect that any 30 year old could be.

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    1. This last couple of weeks, my daughter has been a bit more settled with me. I think she can see us fighting for her – she needs to know that we will.

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  3. I’m so sorry your daughter is going through this. I was a target for bullying most of my life, and the biggest help I ever got from the schools was being told to ‘toughen up’. Unfortunately, I wasn’t very open with my parents, so they never realized the depths that the bullying went to and couldn’t speak out much.

    You definitely sound like you’re doing the right thing and are on the right track, and while it may not appear to be doing much right now, I know that your support for your daughter is working wonders in her.

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  4. I understand what a difficult time this is! I went through a similar situation a few years ago. I recently started a blog with hopes of being some kind of help to other victims of bullying. Since it just got started there isn’t a lot of content, but maybe this could be of some help to you and your daughter. http://aspiritunbroken.com

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