Best Babble, Musings

Being happy

Being happy is not just ‘not being sad’. Being happy is your soul singing, the good emotions bubbling from the depth of your belly, loving your life so much you can find good in every day. In my humble opinion anyway.

We can’t just expect ‘happy’ in our life. Although I’m sure many do. Happy is something we need to create.

Making choices that make us happy, are often hard. I wonder why that is? What is built into us that doesn’t allow us to accept happiness and joy?

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about happiness and my life. Because I want to be truly, singing from the bottom of my soul, happy. Every day.

There have been many times this year where I have been the opposite of happy. Yes, sad, verging on depressed. Not surprising given how much I miss my Mum. I’m always trying to hear her voice for me. It was pretty loud and clear in the birthday card she had written to be given to me in August: “Just live every day and be happy”.  (Thanks Mum I needed that! xo)

There are lots of things in my life that are awesome. Some days though I really struggle with finding my full on happy place. There’s a serious amount of discontent. While I have all these amazing blessings in my life (which I’m not ignoring, setting aside or taking for granted) I’m still striving for something more.  I know that my mum role is bringing me down at the moment – mostly because I feel like I’m constantly chasing my tail with all that I want to do, and not ever catching up. It’s frustrating, and this frustrating is, I believe, what’s standing between me and honestly happy.

I know I can’t sit back and wait for the answers to come. I need to head out and aggressively pursue them.

I do know that happy for me is going to be less busy. Or ‘different’ busy.

At least I have a starting point 🙂

What does your happy look like?

What does

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15 thoughts on “Being happy”

  1. Great post. Being happy is definitely something you have to pursue. I recently had a major burnout because of work schedule, fitting in fitness, writing, reading, blogging and at the end of it I was down right depressed. For about six months or better. But I’m on the up swing now and have realized just how important it is to look for happiness every single day.

    I wonder too how it is that slipping into sadness is so easy to do. I was burnt out and didn’t even realize it for a little while. Then all of a sudden Bam! I even have a book that helps you climb the emotional ladder into happiness. There’s all kinds of exercises in there are wonderful for actively pursuing happiness. and well-being.

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    1. “I wonder too how it is that slipping into sadness is so easy to do.” I’ve had a heap of change in my life in the last 20 months – like thing about every BIG life event (getting married, blending family, moving towns, losing a parent, leaving my career). I just coasted along in this place accepting that unhappy and discontent was not only okay but expected. It sucked!

      I no longer think that, hence my intentional pursuit of real happy.

      What’s the title of the book you mention?

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      1. Ask and it is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. They do a lot of Law of Attraction stuff. The exercises in there are amazing. I’ve found them very helpful when I’m in a tight spot.

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  2. I am with you Abby! I also have been working on being less busy and saying no more often. In our culture it’s easy to get wrapped up in the thinking that doing more will lead to more happiness, but I’ve found that to be so far from the truth. With you.

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    1. Hiya. Thanks for your comment. I’ve just bought a book called ‘The Best Yes’ which I’m looking forward to reading. The summary says: “Escape the guilt of disappointing others by learning the secret of the small no. Overcome the agony of hard choices by embracing a wisdom based decision-making process.
      Rise above the rush of endless demands and discover your best yes today.”

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  3. There’s a book I read a long time ago called “The Art of Happiness”, by the Dalai Lama. In it, he explains that there is no happiness without suffering. I believe this to be true.

    As it is, you’re grieving the loss of your mother. It’s okay to be miserable, it’s okay to feel depressed, it’s okay. It really is a part of the process. The more you try to squelch your emotions, the more you pause your grief work. Let yourself be sad, let yourself hibernate, let yourself feel the strong emotions that are sure to pass, and then they will pass.

    I am slowly coming out of my grief. Slowly rebuilding, but I am trying to face the darkness in order to see the light. Right now, my happiness is a rainbow, that I only see after a storm, it is brief, beautiful and a reminder that in time, I will be whole again, just not right now. Be patient.

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    1. Thanks, I’ve put that book on my Book Depository wishlist (as I’ve already bought four new books this month and am yet to have time to read any of them!!!!).

      I know grief is a process and I’m definitely not ignoring that. I kind of separate that from making a life that makes me happy (like even if I wasn’t on the grief journey, there would be some things I would change). I feel the sadness (and anger, and guilt, and frustration!) of grief and gladly so, as I know it’s part of the process. In the meantime, I’m building things in my life to work towards. I do have lots of ‘amazing’ in my life, I’m not ALL sad, I guess I’m growing the ‘new normal’. It’s hard to explain – and I don’t usually struggle with words!

      I like the rainbow – rainbows for me, are a sign of hope. That fits really well. Ax

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  4. I like your description of happy. When I think happy, I think of Julie Andrews singing on the mountain. (I know you just posted about taking your daughter to the musical.) I think of finishing a concert, with a “well done” feeling. I think of a day busy as all get out and at the end, everything is done. I think of seeing my mother smile, and then I am sad. But the happy remains. Does that make sense?

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    1. That totally makes sense to me. Coming to the place where you can be happy and sad at the same time, and not just all sad, that’s progress 🙂

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  5. I’ve been pondering a lot about this recently, too, as I so badly want to be happy, despite what is happening in my life. You are definitely right that happiness does not come naturally… At least to me. It is so nice to hear your thoughts! 🙂 I am more encouraged to create happiness!

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    1. Hi Marla. Thanks for your comments. I’m working on finding my happy and took a big step toward that today. I will post about this soon. I’ve just had a great couple of weeks school holidays with the kids and it showed me again what really spins my wheels – that’s what I’m walking towards. I’m glad you’re enjoying my blog 🙂

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