Today I found out that my cousin is engaged – in the same instant I was thinking how awesome that is for her, I thought, I must give my mum and call and make sure she’s up to date with the good news.
And then I remembered I can’t. And I don’t have anyone to tell.
I know that grieving is a process and I’m ok with that, I’m learning to ride it out.
I expect some things to suck for a while (maybe forever but with decreasing intensity?) – birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas etc. It’s these little moments that really cut deep. They are SO unexpected. Like today, to go from joyous news to a big bummer in the same moment. Yeah that really stinks.
I do know it will get better. It’s already better than it was six months ago. I just miss my mum, my best friend, heaps.